Struggling with communication? You've come to the right place
Difficulties with communicating productively is one of the most common issues couples present with.
- They find themselves trapped in cyclical argument loops; they're having the same kinds of arguments over and over and making zero progress
- No matter how hard they try, they cannot get their partner to understand their perspective, or why it's important to them
- They are struggling to empathise with their partner because they feel their partner doesn't listen to or understand them
- They feel that every small disagreement tends to escalate into a large scale argument about the 'same old' issues
- There is so much tension within the relationship that they find themselves constantly 'snapping' at one another
- Conversations rarely go well, so defence mechanisms and unhelpful communication patterns are easily triggered
- They worry the relationship is becoming toxic or unhealthy
- Arguments escalate to the point they're saying things they regret and worry they can't take back
- The harder they try to get their points across, the more resistant their partner is to listening
- They just want to be able to discuss things calmly, without things turning into a battle every time
Productive communication
We learn our communication habits fairly haphazardly over the years through our upbringing and the various relationships we experience during our lifetimes.
This means most of us end up with at least a few fairly unproductive ways of responding, that tend to exacerbate, rather than defuse, emotions and defences.
Productive communication emphasises the importance of understanding how the human brain typically responds during communication, so you are able to respond purposefully, choosing responses which make sense in the context of what you're trying to achieve, rather than reacting reflexively to emotions.
Click below to read more about the principles of purposeful communication.
Communication difficulties are extremely common, and very solvable.
We form our reflexive communication patterns and responses over a very long period of time. We can't change them overnight, but we can start to see progress fairly quickly.
The process is different for every couple, but often involves:
- Identifying existing patterns and reflexive responses
- Learning new communication strategies
- Practicing these in-session
- Practicing these at home
- Developing behavioural change strategies to help you implement new responses 'in the moment' and build new communication habits
If you know your current approach isn't working, and you're ready to try something new..
