Course Outline
We've organised the course into 11 'episodes'.
Each episode contains background lessons (where you'll learn why particular skills make sense in the context of how your brain works), and practical workshops (where you'll practice the communication techniques together).
Episodes take 0.5 - 2 weeks each, depending on the learning plan you choose.
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Episode 1: More coffee, less conflict
Background video lesson 1: Course introduction
Workshop 1: Committing to trying something new
Background video lesson 2: How your brain learns through pleasure
Workshop 2: Choosing a progress plan and making it enjoyable
Background video lesson 3: The importance of strong and specific behavioural intentions for progress
Workshop 3: Implementing strong behavioural intentions for progress
Background video lesson 4: The goals of productive communication
Background video lesson 5: Reflexive versus conscious communication responses
Background video lesson 6: Course roadmap
Workshop 4: Developing a topic hierarchy of difficulty
Episode 2: Us against the world
Background video lesson 1: The importance of assessing frame of mind
Background video lesson 2: How emotions affect communication decisions
Workshop 1: Assessing frame of mind
Background video lesson 3: The importance of establishing the purpose of the discussion
Workshop 2: Agreeing on the purpose of the discussion
Background video lesson 4: Framing the desired outcome cooperatively
Workshop 3: Setting a cooperative tone for discussions
Episode 3: Utilising the other-focused approach
Background video lesson 1: Three conversational positions to master
Background video lesson 2: The other-focused position and other-focused listening
Workshop 1: Other-focused listening techniques: Demonstrating understanding and checking for accuracy
Workshop 2: Written practice to improve other-focused listening techniques
Workshop 3: Other-focused listening practice 2
Background video lesson 3: How emotions and cognitive biases affect our interpretation of information
Workshop 4: Identifying the influence of emotions and biases
Background video lesson 4: How beliefs, values, and previous experiences influence our interpretations
Background video lesson 5: How previous relationships affect our interpretation of information
Workshop 5: Identifying the influence of beliefs, values, and previous experiences
Background video lesson 6: How fatigue affects our ability to accurately interpret information
Workshop 6: Identifying the influence of fatigue
Background video lesson 7: Common barriers to other-focused listening
Workshop 7: Identifying barriers to other-focused listening
Episode 4: Gathering accurate data on both sets of needs
Background video lesson 1: Gathering accurate information and reducing defensiveness
Workshop 1: identifying misunderstandings and remaining neutral but engaged
Background video lesson 2: Using observations versus interpretations
Workshop 2: Distinguishing between observations and interpretations
Background video lesson 3: Being justified versus being effective
Workshop 3: Letting go of being justified and moving toward being effective
Workshop 4: Different ways to structure your practices
Episode 5: Effective versus ineffective use of questioning
Workshop 1: Identifying your questioning style
Background video lesson 1: Introduction to purposeful questioning
Workshop 2: Identifying ineffective questions
Background video lesson 2: How particular question types influence the communication process
Workshop 3: Identifying the impact of different question types
Workshop 4: Applying questioning techniques to other-centred listening
Episode 6: What motivates them?
Background video lesson 1: The importance of exploring motivational and emotional subtext
Workshop 1: Exploring the subtext with exploration questions and acknowledgement of emotion
Workshop 2: Practical subtext exploration practice
Workshop 3: Putting it all together (practice of techniques learned so far)
Background video lesson 2: The neurological basis of automatic processing and fight-flight responses
Background video lesson 3: Diffusing intense emotions and the importance of putting emotion before content
Workshop 4: Becoming and remaining conscious of the emotional climate of the discussion
Workshop 5: Acknowledging emotions and returning the focus to identifying solutions
Workshop 6: Dealing with rising emotions
Background video lesson 4: Other emotional management strategies
Workshop 7: Sampling other emotional-management strategies
Episode 7: Utilising the self-focused approach
Background video lesson 1: Communication your own information effectively with the self-focused position
Workshop 1: Self-focused communication practice
Workshop 2: Identifying your speaking style
Background video lesson 2: How different speaking styles affect the communication process
Workshop 3: Identifying different speaking styles
Background video 3: Developing a needs-focus
Workshop 4: Identifying your needs and non-negotiables
Background video lesson 4: Communicating your position without causing defensiveness
Workshop 5: Communicating your position effectively on paper
Workshop 6: Communicating your position effectively in real-time
Episode 8: Taking charge of our emotions
Background video lesson 1: The impact of body language in communicating our position
Workshop 1: Identifying emotions and utilising body language
Background video lesson 2: Ownership of emotions in the self-focused position
Workshop 2: Effective expression of emotions
Background video lesson 3: Balancing taking responsibility with expecting apologies (when are apologies significant for you?)
Background video 4: The benefits of a well-structured apology
Workshop 3: Where do apologies fit in your relationship?
Background video 5: Creating an environment conducive to apologies
Workshop 4: Expressing regret versus responsibility
Episode 9: Utilising the situation-focused approach
Background video lesson 1: Introducing the situation-focused approach
Background video lesson 2: Identifying your starting point and framing the issue cooperatively
Workshop 1: Summarising the needs of both partners
Workshop 2: Framing the issue cooperatively
Background video lesson 3: The importance of mutual engagement and generating multiple solutions
Workshop 3: Non-judgemental brainstorming of potential solutions
Workshop 4: Assessing the viability of solutions
Background video lesson 4: The utility of 'trial-basis' solutions
Workshop 5: Selecting a solution and setting a trial period
Episode 10: Was that as good for you as it was for me?
Background video lesson 1: Progress, not perfection
Workshop 1: Dealing with unexpected obstacles
Background video 2: Evaluating the trial period
Workshop 2: Conducting an evaluation
Background video 3: The importance of regular check-ins
Workshop 3: Choosing a check-in structure
Episode 11: Let's do this again some time
Background video lesson 1: Generalising the techniques to daily life
Workshop 1: Applying the techniques to everyday situations
Background video lesson 2: Maintenance of skills
Workshop 2: Creating a maintenance plan
Background video lesson 3: Where to go from here and extra resources
Workshop 3: Evaluating and celebrating our progress
